This blog is way too young to try to change its name and address...but I'm doing it. I think I may have three or four readers that found me at "Kimberly-Halftime.blogspot.com". To make it easier if you find me via the "Half Time" blog, I have created a redirection from the "Half Time" address to this address.
Why in the world am I doing this? I'm not entirely sure. I've heard some writers working under a deadline have a compulsion to clean the house or do other chores. You know, things that keep them from actually writing. So maybe that is it. I plan to write...and I actually open the blog to share thoughts....and I'm compelled to play with the layout or the name, etc.
Some have followed my blog using the "Bloglovin" reader. I actually follow several blogs on this reader. Here's the thing...Bloglovin' sent me a note saying, "Congrats, you have 20 followers". That's cool. So I decided to check out my followers, hoping I know them and can say "Hi and thank you". Guess what... every one of the followers is fake. Worse, they are porn sites. EWWWW! I'm asking myself if there is something about the name "Half Time" that triggered the bots to "follow" me. I'm not sure...but just in case I've decided to change the name.
I was also uncomfortable with the idea that this was my "Half Time" thoughts. Yes, this is sort of a new chapter. But I kept thinking "Half Time" implies "2nd Half" and actually I don't like to think of my life as being in "2nd Half". For me, it feels too much like I'm on the downhill slide. Which, maybe I am, but I don't want to be reminded of that every time I open up my own blog.
How did I decide on "Sitting With It"? Sitting with "It" is a practice that I've been working on for several years now. It was taught to me by a therapist. I learned to use it when I was experiencing extreme stress and conflict at work. (A previous company). Let me just say that "Sitting with It" does not come naturally to me. In fact, my counselor actually called it "Sitting with Discomfort". Whew...that was actually hard for me. (Still is).
My first blog was called "What I Think About", which was mostly musings of my life. I still "think about things", but it's different now. I'm different.
I don't know for sure what this blog will be "mostly", but I know it's different. A little more subdued maybe. A little quieter. I am still navigating who I am without my partner. I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that I'm "alone". I'm definitely still finding my way. There is still so much joy in my life, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit I'm in the midst of grief. I've been trying to figure out how to manage grief without succumbing to depression. I can tell you that for the most part (with help) I've been able to keep deep depression at bay.
Right now, the best thing I can think to do is to "Sit With It".
PS I've opened up commenting so that you do not need a Google Account (or any account) to leave me a comment. If you are inclined to say hello, I'd love to hear from you.
